


The Issue on the Table

by Madtom_Publius



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:12:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6423478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madtom_Publius/pseuds/Madtom_Publius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hamilton and Jefferson have a cabinet battle over whether or not President Adams should trade with the Haitian revolutionaries. Written in lyrical form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Issue on the Table

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr by publius-esquire

[ENSEMBLE]

A message from the president! A message from the president!   
From John Adams, Esquire, the issue on the table:   
“Haiti has revolted and the former slaves now control the island; should we  
trade with them independently and risk the ire of France?”  
Vice-President Jefferson, your response?

[JEFFERSON]

What’s that smell in the air? *sniffs* Oh - hypocrisy!  
But what else can you expect from aristocracy?  
Now I’m seem to recall, when it came to France  
Not a single one of y’all would give them a chance.

[MADISON]

Not one.

[JEFFERSON]

And here you’re askin’ us to fund and arm slaves?  
Uh you’d best build a dam to stop those waves  
Cause once that torrent opens there’ll nothing left to save.  
You Federalists had been worried ‘bout your heads  
But we in the South will be killed in our beds.  
First you target the French with your Sedition and Alien Acts  
And then you gonna go and give the vote to blacks?  
Tell me, where is your loyalty  
Or are you so busy playing royalty  
There ain’t nothing left but disloyalty?  
I thought we were here to serve the public,  
All this talk of arming slaves, I can barely stomach;  
How you gon' help the cannibals of this terrible republic?

[ENSEMBLE]

Thank you, Mr. Vice-President. General Hamilton, your response?

[HAMILTON]

Now just why is it that all the men in the government accusin’ traitors  
Just so happen to be the barons of the South, each of ‘em slavers?  
Face the facts, trading with the island just makes financial sense  
But judgin’ from your cheque book, on that subject, no wonder you’re dense.

[JEFFERSON]

Say what?

 

[HAMILTON]

The French have been harassing us for years  
Can’t go anywhere without cries of Jacobinism in our ears.  
If we let the directory dictate who we can trade with  
We’re nothing more than part of this monolith,  
This French empire - They conspire and you desire  
But it’s a misfire because see we’ll inspire  
Our “peculiar institution” to expire.  
All your talk of liberty is very pretty, I see  
So long as the revolutionaries look like you and me  
All men deserve to rise above their station  
And call me crazy, but ain’t Haiti an independent nation?

[ENSEMBLE]

A message from the president! A message from the president!   
From John Adams, Esquire, on the issue of supporting the Haitian revolutionaries:  
“It is my decision that opening trade with the island is more in line  
with the continued economic and political interests of the United States.”

[HAMILTON]

Damn straight.

[JEFFERSON]

Oh John Adams, I can hardly believe this bag of tricks  
Comes from the man I had supported in Seventy-Six.

[MADISON]

He’s too shrouded in monarchy.

[JEFFERSON]

Enough to give aid to a slave colony.  
Alas. I guess we’ll just have to bide our time.

[MADISON]

But to sit on our hands and let him do this would be a crime -

[JEFFERSON]

The real crime will soon reveal all the facts  
Once everyone gets sick of his Alien and Sedition Acts.  
Soon Hamilton and Adams will be at each other’s throat  
While we’ll be waitin’ to pick up the pieces - Not to gloat,  
But when I become president, I’ll secure American safety  
By withdrawing our ships and embargoing Haiti.


End file.
